Monday, July 6, 2015

What If Your Child Was Gay?


“Gay Pride Flag” by Serge Bertasius Photography via freedigitalphotos.net

In the light of Bruce Jenner’s recent intro to his new persona, Caitlyn, and in lieu of gay marriages becoming legal in all of the U.S. we’re probably in need of addressing some real questions here:

What if our child were gay? 
How would we feel? 
What would we say?
What would we tell others? 
(Or would we?)

In some families, this may be a topic of discussion that’s quite touchy; even feared or avoided.

Other delicate talks that are skipped over at home might be:

- Bearing children out of wedlock
- Bi-racial relationships
- Divorce
- Mental illness
- Substance abuse

The fact of the matter is they should NOT be avoided or ignored. Why?
Because we all know what happens when we try not to bring up what we don’t want our kids to do in fear of them doing it. Remember what our parents used to try?... Just laying down the law that, ‘NO!! YOU SIMPLY MAY NOT DO IT. (And WHY?) BECAUSE I SAID SO!’? Hmmmm…remember how that worked out for us growing up?

My advice? 

Like anything else, discuss this (and other sensitive topics) openly (and soon) with empathy, love and a very good listening ear…
Because love is essential, and no matter what our children do 
- or don’t do - 
they always deserve our love.

While as parents we have plans for our children, our children also have their own plans for themselves and their future.

So the questions we must ask ourselves are:

“If they do something we do not like, approve of, or even believe in, what will be our reaction?" 

And, will we still love them?

My additional advice includes something to consider… 
We do not have control over our child’s decisions after a certain age, and the more we try to influence them to do what we want, rather than allow them to do what they want, the farther apart we'll get from them and the more strained the relationship will become... 

So, here are some forums, links and articles on how to handle/talk about this (and other sensitive topics) at home, in addition to addressing a child’s sexual preference and/or desire to do things you do not approve of or accept:






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