Monday, March 9, 2015

The Problem with Saying NO, The Importance of Saying YES

Isolated Young Woman Stop Sign, Focus On Hand Stock Photo by David Castillo Dominici via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When I was growing up, my father and mother used to always tell me no. Then when my mother was no longer in the picture I think my dad said no more often than before.

No you can't go out and play.
No you can't have that for dinner.
No you can't go to your friend’s.
No we can't buy that for you.

By the time I was 13, I found a way to a yes (even if my parents told me no). 
I was so sick and tired of never getting my way, that I would just do what I wanted (and of course get in trouble for it).

It wasn’t easy having little freedom, little space and little room to grow or feel independent.

By the time I was 17 this was what I was hearing next:
No you can’t go to that college and you most certainly cannot do that for a career….

Before you reply no to your children, take a moment to ask yourself,
'when was the last time I said yes?’.

From the time babies become toddlers, they need freedom. They need opportunities to make choices and experience mistakes. Children need to be allowed to help create and develop their personalities and futures. If parents stifle (or in all actuality) control the outcome all the time, children pull away, become resentful and eventually rebel.

This diminishes the parent/child relationship.

Ask me how I know...




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