Monday, September 19, 2011

Celebrate Step-Fathers



I don’t usually call much attention to my fiancee, nor do I really call much attention to our whole step-family existence, but, I guess I should. In about four weeks we will be making our family official. And we understand the meaning of step and blended families, since we are both from divorced parents and are divorced, ourselves. 

His birthday is this week and he's fairly younger than I am, with no children of his own. Nor had he planned on it. A couple of years ago, he went from a bachelor lifestyle of take-out pizza on the way home from work-eaten in a recliner in peace, in front of ESPN with the freedom to get up and leave the house  to hang out with the guys, whenever he chose…

Now he has traded it in for: rushing out of work, sometimes stopping for milk on the way home… picking kids up from daycare some days, helping out with football practices and many times cooking dinner for five…without complaints. 

You’d think this family-life stuff would cramp his style…but it doesn’t. And he could have decided that becoming a step-parent to three children was too much, but he didn’t. Instead, he embraced it and he cherishes it. 

I've never known a person who was not a parent, and who didn’t have much interest in it, could suddenly become one and be good at it. But, I guess that that’s what happens sometimes.  One day we aren’t  parents, and the next day we are. Whether we give birth, adopt or become step-parents… we adjust because we love our children.

It still just amazes me that I don’t have to tell my fiancee what to do, or how to do it. Most times he just does what comes natural; I call it ‘common sense’ and it’s very similar to my own parenting style. My mother was not a part of my life…so I was never really shown how to be a parent, I just had to figure it out, so I just call it ‘common sense’.

He is nurturing, patient, caring and understanding. He also loves to hug and kiss them and help them with their homework (well, he might not exactly love that last part, but what parent does?) He is also just a big kid himself. He loves to play with them, and joke with them.

The kids love their step-dad and they love their real dad too.  Each of them has their own personal 'Dad-qualities' and the kids have an appreciation for their differences.They know they have both, and  that both men love them very much.They are very lucky.

Ironically, my fiancee and my youngest daughter's birthdays are only a day apart. It's a wonderful week and I am glad that they enjoy celebrating their special day together.

Happy Birthday to you Darling, and thank you for sharing this most treasured times of my life with me, parenting...

Happy Birthday from the whole family. 

We love you.

 Truly,
Amber
 

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