Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My Parenting May Not Be For Everyone

It's no secret.

I like to speak my mind.

And when it comes to parenting, I openly share what works for me. (Note I said 'Me?)

My philosophies might not work for you, or the next person...or the next person...but I'm confident they will work for someone out there and that is why I talk publicly about our family habits and my ways of parenting.

I am currently writing a parenting book and during some recent conversations with some fellow writer's, friends and strangers, I went into detail on a particular topic.

I was very surprised at how some people were curious and wanted to know more and how others quickly shared what they did...even before I was through speaking.

Here is a small example:
Ever just say something to another parent and get a mouthful back of why they do what they do and why they parent the way they do? (You will know when this happens to you because the other parent will go on for some time justifying what they do and why they do it.) They will be very passionate as they speak and are generally doing this for their own benefit while maybe hoping to prove to you that their parenting is just fine compared to yours, and maybe even better.) Than so be it...

I find it exhausting and confusing, but at the same time, quite intriguing.

Though it's not really aimed at you...it will surely seem like it.

They want to be okay with their own parenting habits...and have somehow been offended by yours.

I don't know about you, but I share because I care. (I did not mean for that to rhyme; it sort of sounds like a Hallmark card, but it is the truth and it was the simplest way to say why I openly tell others about how I parent.)



I just still find it astounding how many people are offended when I do , and when clearly I mean no offense by it.

For example:
Have you ever said,  'I don't let me kids do x'   OR   'Our family prefers to stay away from y'?
(You could substitute  T.V., music videos or R rated movies for X ..
and substitute sugar, guns or alcohol for Y.)

Who cares what your x or your y is...It's YOUR x and YOUR y and if somebody wants to try it, than hooray!

If not, than okay!

It's not a contest...

It's your style and if they want to use it they will. If they don't it doesn't mean they're wrong.

I don't criticize anyone for what they 'do' or 'don't do'.

I simply state what I do and if someone chooses to try my methods, so be it, because it worked for me and I would hope it would work for them too.

The world is made up of so many people and our differences are what makes us who we are.

Every family is their own dynamics of people, circumstances, beliefs, and goals. If we were all the same, we'd be robots, not families.


What, or who, would I be if I got on a soap box and put families down for what they do with their children?

I can tell you I wouldn't be very well liked...nor would I be right.

I am not here, nor am I writing a parenting book, to tell moms, dads, grandparents, etc. what they are doing wrong....

I am here to share what I know to have worked for myself and my own children and so...

If someone would like to open up the Family Matters blog and read it, hooray!
If someone would like to ask my opinions, awesome!
If someone would like to pick up my future book and read it...all the power to them.

Take a little or take a lot.
Read some or read none.

As far as I know my parenting adventures did not come with instructions...so as for me, I am always eager to know more, and different, ways to be a success at it.

As for other parents, if it works already, don't fix it.
If it doesn't work, stop doing it and find something else to try...and why not start here?

Truly,
Amber

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